I was recently given this link and I think it explains a lot what I'm feeling. I don't have lupus obviously, but I think it's representative of anyone that lives with a chronic illness. It definitely explains some of the choices that I have to make over any given day and how much thought goes into it.
Take Care!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Sleep Deprived and Worried
So I am sitting here at 5:40 AM typing this while the rest of my family sleeps. Abby was awake at 3:30 AM and up for about an hour. I wasn't up with her, Steve was. Then the hour later, Steve comes to bed but then he gets up again? "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I ask. "It's snowing and I have to move the van, I left it on the road, just in case the plows come, I'm going to pull it in the drive" Ugh...so at 4:30, I was left unable to sleep while he snores away peacefuly :( I wish I had that skill to be able to get back to sleep, or even lay in bed and doze. But it is something that eludes me. Always has, it's one of the reasons why Steve is the one to get up with the kids (that and I usually sleep like a rock)
I also have to say, that now is a time that I really need to rely on God. I'm a worrier, there's no two ways about it. This month we've had 2 unexpected, rather hefty bills come, one for repair on our van and the other for custody stuff with Justus. Normally I wouldn't be overly worried about it, but we leave in a month for our trip (the trip of a lifetime), and those bills almost completely depleted our SAVINGS for the trip. We also need to start thinking about the week in March for me to go to Kitchener for the training. Hotel, food AND the harness stuff. Just goes to show you that the best laid plans, aren't usually all that good afterall.
Needless to say, I know that God has a plan, I know that everything should be ok. But I'm worrying. It keeps me awake at night, and my mind races during the day. Why do I care so much about this? Why is it that money has become such a factor in so many peoples lives (including my own)? Why has our society become SOOO dependent on such material things??? God's always provided for us in the past, but how easily I forget in times like this. I think I just need a good swift kick in the rear end!
This Friday is my MRI, and that isn't helping my worrying at all. I just really want some answers, and I'm feeling abit apprehensive about this, considering how the neurologist treated me back at the beginning of the month. I know that I don't have the stamina to do the things I once did. The exhaustion is something that I just struggle to deal with. I've been having a lot of cognitive trouble as well as of late, and it just feels like such a "hidden" illness. I mean, I look ok right now on the outside, no serious physical markers, but will that always be? Will I always have to live in this unknown state??? I sure hope not, because I know I can't sit here much longer and not have answers. It doesn't help your physical or emotional state when you are worried about the outcome.
So please pray for us. Pray for the weeks and months ahead.
I also have to say, that now is a time that I really need to rely on God. I'm a worrier, there's no two ways about it. This month we've had 2 unexpected, rather hefty bills come, one for repair on our van and the other for custody stuff with Justus. Normally I wouldn't be overly worried about it, but we leave in a month for our trip (the trip of a lifetime), and those bills almost completely depleted our SAVINGS for the trip. We also need to start thinking about the week in March for me to go to Kitchener for the training. Hotel, food AND the harness stuff. Just goes to show you that the best laid plans, aren't usually all that good afterall.
Needless to say, I know that God has a plan, I know that everything should be ok. But I'm worrying. It keeps me awake at night, and my mind races during the day. Why do I care so much about this? Why is it that money has become such a factor in so many peoples lives (including my own)? Why has our society become SOOO dependent on such material things??? God's always provided for us in the past, but how easily I forget in times like this. I think I just need a good swift kick in the rear end!
This Friday is my MRI, and that isn't helping my worrying at all. I just really want some answers, and I'm feeling abit apprehensive about this, considering how the neurologist treated me back at the beginning of the month. I know that I don't have the stamina to do the things I once did. The exhaustion is something that I just struggle to deal with. I've been having a lot of cognitive trouble as well as of late, and it just feels like such a "hidden" illness. I mean, I look ok right now on the outside, no serious physical markers, but will that always be? Will I always have to live in this unknown state??? I sure hope not, because I know I can't sit here much longer and not have answers. It doesn't help your physical or emotional state when you are worried about the outcome.
So please pray for us. Pray for the weeks and months ahead.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Not sure what to think
We spoke with the school today. I'm not sure what to think of the story told, but I really have no choice but to believe them.
This is the story: Logan was playing outside at afternoon nutrition break, and was rolling in the snow. It was cold, and the pages shattered as he rolled over top of them...that's the story...Seems kind of shady. But I have to believe them at this point...I know that plastic is fragile when cold...BUT...I am having some difficulty believing this.
What's done is done. I cannot change it. And won't. We have some strategies in place now, that hopefully something like this never happens again. We also discussed the importance of communication, and to have the full story.
I sure hope this never happens. I'm relieved to an extent that it wasn't other children, but like I said, I'm not entirely sure I'm believing this one. But at this point, that's all I have to go on.
This is the story: Logan was playing outside at afternoon nutrition break, and was rolling in the snow. It was cold, and the pages shattered as he rolled over top of them...that's the story...Seems kind of shady. But I have to believe them at this point...I know that plastic is fragile when cold...BUT...I am having some difficulty believing this.
What's done is done. I cannot change it. And won't. We have some strategies in place now, that hopefully something like this never happens again. We also discussed the importance of communication, and to have the full story.
I sure hope this never happens. I'm relieved to an extent that it wasn't other children, but like I said, I'm not entirely sure I'm believing this one. But at this point, that's all I have to go on.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
always the way
This morning was a morning like none other...I got ready for church and put on just ONE outfit. I was actually pleased. I'd had my shower, my hair was almost done, I was dressed, and I didn't feel all that bad about how I looked. Then Logan comes flying into the bathroom, butt cheeks clenched bent over with that uncomfortable feeling; I just knew what was happening...the runs! The poor guy!!! So I proceeded to take off my Sunday clothes, and got into the comfys we all love to wear on the weekend. I'm home for the day afterall. It's cold outside, snowy and blowy, so it's really a nice day to stay inside. But wouldn't you know it would be the day that I actually didn't go through the entire closet to find something I felt good in! Oh well, c'est la vie. I sure hope that he's feeling better though. He doesn't seem sick, just the runs...hopefully that's the only episode.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Interesting Blog Video
I read this , and I was very moved. I think it is a very humbling to know and be raising 2 children with Autism. This woman in the video speaks of her language and our language. It challenges us that people with autism are required to learn our language and yet we do not learn theirs. What has always struck me, in any kind of video or documentary like this, would be that the person with autism has learned our language so eloquently. Speaking very beautifully, and articulately, and yet we don't give their language the time of day.
Friday, January 26, 2007
I'm on the Hunt!
Today was a sad day for me as a mother. Logan came home from school and we went through the regular routine. After snack, I went through his back pack for notes etc, to read about his day, since of course he can't tell me about it. Well, that is when momma bear went on the hunt!
There was this odd note "sorry about the book, it was broken over lunchtime, page pieces and pecs are in the envelope". I immediately went over to his communication book,looked fine on the outside but when I looked inside my heart sank. It looks very much like someone took scissors to every page of his book and cut the pages. There were peices of velcro with no pictures attached, pecs just sitting there. His only form of communication trashed by some kids in his class :( There wasn't even an explanation, nothing, just a meaningless sorry! I'm sorry but Logan deserves more than that. I should've been called at some point today.
First thing Monday morning, I will be calling the school for sure! This is completely unacceptable. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to say yet, but I'm calling. I'll go to the school if I have to. This is totally new territory for me, but I know that I'll be demanding more supervision in the class. There will have to be discussion in class about how valuable this binder is to Logan. It's his voice!
I'm just so sad for Logan, he's so quiet and passive, how could they do something like this to him :( It's times like this I'm thankful that he doesn't fully understand what's going on, and doesn't understand the social implications of it.
Please pray for Steve and I as we try to deal with this. We both were so heartbroken tonight.
There was this odd note "sorry about the book, it was broken over lunchtime, page pieces and pecs are in the envelope". I immediately went over to his communication book,looked fine on the outside but when I looked inside my heart sank. It looks very much like someone took scissors to every page of his book and cut the pages. There were peices of velcro with no pictures attached, pecs just sitting there. His only form of communication trashed by some kids in his class :( There wasn't even an explanation, nothing, just a meaningless sorry! I'm sorry but Logan deserves more than that. I should've been called at some point today.
First thing Monday morning, I will be calling the school for sure! This is completely unacceptable. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to say yet, but I'm calling. I'll go to the school if I have to. This is totally new territory for me, but I know that I'll be demanding more supervision in the class. There will have to be discussion in class about how valuable this binder is to Logan. It's his voice!
I'm just so sad for Logan, he's so quiet and passive, how could they do something like this to him :( It's times like this I'm thankful that he doesn't fully understand what's going on, and doesn't understand the social implications of it.
Please pray for Steve and I as we try to deal with this. We both were so heartbroken tonight.
An Odd Feeling,,,and More
So, as I type this, someone is in my kitchen cleaning. It feels so very odd! Don't get me wrong. I'm loving it. I just feel on some level that this is completely wrong. But I will not linger in that feeling, I shall move on and bask in the glorious scent of clean :D Knowing all along that it was NOT my hard work that made it that way.
Tonight we're having someone from our congregation over for supper. She went on a cruise in November, and is bringing along her pictures. I just can't wait to hear about her trip. Her cruise was a bit different than ours as she was in France. I think it will help to heighten our excitement for going...although I don't think we need any help!
My parents were supposed to come for a visit this weekend as well, but they cancelled due to weather. I am really starting to miss them. I'm hoping that we'll be able to see them before we leave, but now that winter has arrived here in Meaford, that might not be the case. We'll just pray for good weather sometime soon.
Tonight we're having someone from our congregation over for supper. She went on a cruise in November, and is bringing along her pictures. I just can't wait to hear about her trip. Her cruise was a bit different than ours as she was in France. I think it will help to heighten our excitement for going...although I don't think we need any help!
My parents were supposed to come for a visit this weekend as well, but they cancelled due to weather. I am really starting to miss them. I'm hoping that we'll be able to see them before we leave, but now that winter has arrived here in Meaford, that might not be the case. We'll just pray for good weather sometime soon.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Postponed
We were supposed to have our custody trial on Jan 31, but it was postponed. Our lawyer was called to trial for another case, and given the fact that we're a "pro-bono" case, we got bumped. I totally understand, and I don't mind. There is a part of me that is bummed, but I have to believe it's for a reason. I just hope it doesn't happen again! Our new date is Feb 28. I was shaking in my boots that it would be over our vacation and breathed a big sigh of relief that it wasn't. This makes things a bit more complicated since it's an early dismissal day for Logan and Abby, but hopefully we'll figure something out. We have a month to plan for it.
A Funny For You!
The Perfect Husband
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirin s $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time ....
PRICELESS!
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirin s $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time ....
PRICELESS!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
My Door
Alright I'm officially very frustrated. We had new front doors installed last spring. They've been back 2 times already to fix the door hardware, and now my door handle is falling off AGAIN!!!! I've always had problems with being able to unlock the door. I don't know if I'm just getting very weak or what, but I just can't. I seriously have to wait for Steve to do it every time, never have I been able to unlock our door. But come on, why is the door handle falling off. Once is a fluke, but twice isn't. There is something faulty with it. This isn't cheap hardware either, we spent 900 bucks on it and not the doors, the hardware for the doors! This time, I'm asking for it to be replaced. Enough is enough. We have used this company since then, and no problems with the other stuff. Just this door. :( I'll update when I know what's happening. As of right now, I've left a message. If I don't hear anything today, I'm calling tomorrow! Argh. I'm just so upset.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Yesterday
It was a great day yesterday. I don't get to say that very often on a Sunday, often times it's very long, with the kids testing us, Steve and I both tired. But yesterday all seemed to fall into place. It was a day of rest.
It was a long night on Saturday night. Justus was up twice in the night, so Sunday really could've been gloomy. But...Sunday School went fabulously for the kids so I got to stay upstairs for the entire service. I didn't hear Abby cry at all!! Then we came home for quick lunch and Steve left for Woodford. This is usually the time that the kids are cranky, testing my patience. But it didn't happen. Justus laid down for a nap. The kids settled into watching their movie, and I sat with them getting some great cuddles. When Steve got home, I told him some wonderful news. Kati was coming over to the house to watch the kids so we could NAP, at the same time! it's been almost 6 years since we've been able to do this on a Sunday afternoon. It was great :) For supper we decided to be brave, the day had gone SO well, off we trodded to Pizza Delight, AS A WHOLE FAMILY. We asked Kati to come along with us, just in case. But truth be told, they did wonderfully. It was such a peaceful blessed day.
It was a long night on Saturday night. Justus was up twice in the night, so Sunday really could've been gloomy. But...Sunday School went fabulously for the kids so I got to stay upstairs for the entire service. I didn't hear Abby cry at all!! Then we came home for quick lunch and Steve left for Woodford. This is usually the time that the kids are cranky, testing my patience. But it didn't happen. Justus laid down for a nap. The kids settled into watching their movie, and I sat with them getting some great cuddles. When Steve got home, I told him some wonderful news. Kati was coming over to the house to watch the kids so we could NAP, at the same time! it's been almost 6 years since we've been able to do this on a Sunday afternoon. It was great :) For supper we decided to be brave, the day had gone SO well, off we trodded to Pizza Delight, AS A WHOLE FAMILY. We asked Kati to come along with us, just in case. But truth be told, they did wonderfully. It was such a peaceful blessed day.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Cruise ~ Just 42 days until we leave!
I just have to say that I'm SOOO excited. This morning Steve and I finally sat down and looked at what excursions were available for our cruise, and booked them. We're only going to go on 4 excursions. In Katakolon, Greece we'll be headed to a museum and ancient Olympia. In Athens, Greece the National Archaeological Museum and Acropolis. Izmir, Turkey will bring us to Ancient Ephesus. Naples, Italy, which is what I'm most looking forward to after Venice of course, Mt. Vesuvius and Pompeii. We wanted to keep things fairly easy since my health could play a major factor, however, I think I'm just going to push my way through this. I may never get a chance to do anything like this again, and I really want to make the most out of it. We'll also be doing things in Venice and Rome, as we'll have extra time in those two locations, just haven't planned anything as of yet.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
You're Hired!
Starting this afternoon, we will be having someone in to clean. I'm not sure how I feel about it. In some ways it feels like I've failed as a woman, a wife and a mother. I'm sure I won't feel that way as of next Friday at 3:30, when the house has been cleaned for the first time. Honestly though, I know that I need the help. I'm thankful that we are able to do this, and am looking forward to having a clean and tidied up house. I know that I need to start relying more on others in this stage of my life. I hope that one day I will be able to do all of this again, but as of right now, that day is not here. I do know that I haven't failed, I'm growing as a person by allowing someone to help me out. God put people on this earth to help one another, and I hope that one day I'll be able to bless someone else, the same way that I'm feeling so blessed.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
More Good News
My brother Josh has been interviewing for a fabulous job. I mean, it's the perfect job for him! He called today with some wonderful news. He's been hired! This means that he will be an official globetrotter. He will be filming an international fishing show. He gets to go to Spain, India, Austrailia, Costa Rica just to name a few. He'll basically be spending 2 weeks abroad and then home for 2 weeks. I'm so happy for him and that this opportunity has come his way. I'm so very proud of him, and the person that he is.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
WE GOT THE CALL
It's finally happened :) This morning we got the call that our names were up on the National Service Dog List. After what feels like an eternity, I am going on March 25 for our 5 days of training. This is such an answer to prayer, and we'd like to take the opportunity once again to thank all those who helped us out on this journey. A new chapter of our lives is beginning, and we are just so excited.
It really seems like yesterday that I had the phone call with Steve. "I've been looking into service dogs more Steve and I think I'd like to go ahead with it. Well Steve being a typical guy "how much" with much fear and trembling, I mutter under my breath "12" and he responds "1200?!?!" to which I say no "12,000" But God does have a sense of humor, because it was a Friday afternoon, and Steve was preparing his sermon for Sunday's service, and had just finished typing "whatever my children need, no matter how much, I will not withold it from them ". HE HAD TO SAY YES THEN!!!!
It really seems like yesterday that I had the phone call with Steve. "I've been looking into service dogs more Steve and I think I'd like to go ahead with it. Well Steve being a typical guy "how much" with much fear and trembling, I mutter under my breath "12" and he responds "1200?!?!" to which I say no "12,000" But God does have a sense of humor, because it was a Friday afternoon, and Steve was preparing his sermon for Sunday's service, and had just finished typing "whatever my children need, no matter how much, I will not withold it from them ". HE HAD TO SAY YES THEN!!!!
Monday, January 15, 2007
Snow
Today was a bus cancellation day for school, but we drove the kids anyway. I had originally said at the beginning of school that we wouldn't send the kids on those days, but Steve decided that he wanted to drive them...so it looks like that is the plan from now on. We'll still call and make sure that an EA is there. It would be a very bad thing if the kids ended up at school with no EA! But it is nice that they are able to enjoy school. This is the second time for Logan but the first for Abby. She had some difficulty leaving daddy this morning. That minor change in her routine sure is heartbreaking for her. But overall I think the kids did well. :) Abby's class even watched a Veggie Tales Silly Song countdown movie.
Today was also the first day of my respite person with Justus. WOW, it was so nice to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea, that was the perfect temperature for the whole sitting, NOT ice cold by the time it is finished. It is amazing that we are able to do this. I'm so very thankful for all that we receive. I can't wait for next Monday!
Today was also the first day of my respite person with Justus. WOW, it was so nice to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea, that was the perfect temperature for the whole sitting, NOT ice cold by the time it is finished. It is amazing that we are able to do this. I'm so very thankful for all that we receive. I can't wait for next Monday!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Hubby Brag
I don't often do this, I'm not sure why I don't, but here it goes.
My husband is a fantastic person. He's so amazing with the kids. I really can't speak highly enough here, no words can accurately describe his actions with the kids. I'm continually blessed that he is such an active father. He has been a wonderful husband too. He puts up with so many of my annoying little habits, and deals with them remarkably. Hardly ever complains about it, I think maybe once or twice!! He even picks up in the kitchen without being asked! He is also an outstanding pastor. If you ask my personal opinion, biased as it may be, I think he's awesome. As of the last few weeks, he's started preaching just from notes rather than a full manuscript. What a difference it has made. He connects with the congregation much more effectively now. We were talking about it this afternoon after church, and he said "I bet you want to say 'I told you so' " but in reality, I don't. I'm just so proud of him that he's made the switch over to this style.
I love you very much honey. I know I don't brag on you often enough, but here it is, out here for everyone to read because I want the world to know how amazing you are, and how lucky I am to have you.
Bank Robbery
This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article
appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on
March 2.
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their
efforts at disabling the security system got underway
immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two
large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to
see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside
they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded
on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least
we'll have a bit to eat."
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained
nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all
safes were opened. They did not find one pound sterling, a
diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes
contained covered bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving
with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full
stomach. The newspaper headline read:
IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS
MORNING...
appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on
March 2.
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their
efforts at disabling the security system got underway
immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two
large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to
see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank.
The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside
they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding. As recorded
on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least
we'll have a bit to eat."
The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained
nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all
safes were opened. They did not find one pound sterling, a
diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes
contained covered bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving
with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full
stomach. The newspaper headline read:
IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS
MORNING...
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Dungeon...To Light
As most of you know, when we moved into our house, most rooms got a fresh coat of paint. I personally have never loved beige/neutral walls. From the very beginning I was never sure of how much I really liked my room color. Actually that isn't true, I always LOVED it, otherwise I wouldn't have done it. But I didn't really think about the lack of natural sunlight in our bedroom. So, for the last two years, I've really been struggling in the winter with how dark our bedroom is. So tonight I bit the bullet and painted one wall. The wall you look at as soon as you walk in the bedroom. It really makes all the difference. I don't know why I waited so long to do it. It looks so beautiful :) I felt like I was living in a dungeon before, and now I'm just so relieved. I can't wait for Steve to see it. I was going to surprise him and just do it while he was at the Annual Meeting, but instead, I told him what I was doing. I don't really like hearing "amanda" from another room. I did that once to him when I took down the wall in the old therapy room ~ I never have been good at keeping things from him anyway. I sure hope he likes it as much as I do.
Reflections
Well, this has been a good week. I'm very pleased with everything that is happening. The kids are really doing wonderfully. Since the start of 2007, all 13 days of it, all three kids have really been blossoming. I think this year holds many good things for them.
Logans language has become much more clear. He's articulating words like we've never heard him before. I really think school has done great things to help bring this along. The other day he asked for juice, and I said, " ok go get your cup for me" well, he couldn't find it, but abby had just finished her juice and put her cup down and Logan went running over to it and said "here it is"! It was exciting because we've never taught him that phrase, he's picking it up through his environment! It made me feel a bit more optimistic about his future, and wondered how much functional language is going on in his head and is just unable to say.
Abby too is very much blossoming into a little lady. We are hearing more words from her as well. Steve and I have commented lately that if she could just regulate her moods a little more, she'd really be doing great as it's the extreme fluctuations that get in the way. We have an appt with a pediatrician to talk about it. But she is really doing great at school, and the kids in her class are really helping to include her in that classroom.
Justus is a champion! WOW is all I have to say. This boy cruises along the furniture like nothing I have ever seen. FAST! He's also been mimicking alot of what we say. He says "uhoh" and "ok", he's even repeated tickle, ball, cup, baby! It's so amazing because we missed this with our own kids. I marvel at this stage. This is whole new territory for me, and I have to admit I'm feeling a little inadequate.
There are 49 days til Steve and I leave for our vacation! Wow, time sure does fly~but I'm excited. We're also headed to the Baptist Minister's Retreat next month. It's over our annivesary this year. I think we're going to book ourselves a massage or something at the spa located at the venue this year. :) I think we deserve that, I mean, we made it through 7 years!!! I'm just kidding, our adventure has been great, and I don't regret it one bit, nor am I surprised we made it this far. We're in it for the long haul because we love each other too much to not be together. Life has been full of ups and downs, but I'm just glad we have each other to see it to the other side. Enough sap!
Logans language has become much more clear. He's articulating words like we've never heard him before. I really think school has done great things to help bring this along. The other day he asked for juice, and I said, " ok go get your cup for me" well, he couldn't find it, but abby had just finished her juice and put her cup down and Logan went running over to it and said "here it is"! It was exciting because we've never taught him that phrase, he's picking it up through his environment! It made me feel a bit more optimistic about his future, and wondered how much functional language is going on in his head and is just unable to say.
Abby too is very much blossoming into a little lady. We are hearing more words from her as well. Steve and I have commented lately that if she could just regulate her moods a little more, she'd really be doing great as it's the extreme fluctuations that get in the way. We have an appt with a pediatrician to talk about it. But she is really doing great at school, and the kids in her class are really helping to include her in that classroom.
Justus is a champion! WOW is all I have to say. This boy cruises along the furniture like nothing I have ever seen. FAST! He's also been mimicking alot of what we say. He says "uhoh" and "ok", he's even repeated tickle, ball, cup, baby! It's so amazing because we missed this with our own kids. I marvel at this stage. This is whole new territory for me, and I have to admit I'm feeling a little inadequate.
There are 49 days til Steve and I leave for our vacation! Wow, time sure does fly~but I'm excited. We're also headed to the Baptist Minister's Retreat next month. It's over our annivesary this year. I think we're going to book ourselves a massage or something at the spa located at the venue this year. :) I think we deserve that, I mean, we made it through 7 years!!! I'm just kidding, our adventure has been great, and I don't regret it one bit, nor am I surprised we made it this far. We're in it for the long haul because we love each other too much to not be together. Life has been full of ups and downs, but I'm just glad we have each other to see it to the other side. Enough sap!
Monday, January 08, 2007
Good News
Today we had another appearance in court, and we have some good news to report.
We go for an uncontested trial on Jan 31, and barring anything major, we will hopefully be awarded permenant custody of Justus. Wow, talk about bittersweet news to bear.
I think I'm feeling very relieved, but on the very same hand, sorry for my brother. I don't think Ian entirely realizes that his actions are proving to make his life the poorer. I wish it had never come down to this, although very thankful for the opportunity to have Justus here. My prayer from the beginning would be that they would try to make their lives all the better, and get Justus back. Unfortunately, at this point, they are not even willing to try :( God is good though, and we feel blessed to have Justus a part of the household.
What a treasure he is. :) His smile brightens up my day for sure. I love hearing "uhoh" or yesterday was "ok" I think it's amazing to watch the differences his development from Logan and Abby. That, in itself, is a miracle. Considering all that he was exposed to in utero, there he is, a champion fighter. Makes me proud to be a mom. Steve and I often say how amazing it is, the love that we have for Justus. We heard often through our adoption classes how that bond forms, but until you experience it, you never truly understand. We hope one day that he will bear our name, but for now, knowing that we are his legal guardians is enough.
We go for an uncontested trial on Jan 31, and barring anything major, we will hopefully be awarded permenant custody of Justus. Wow, talk about bittersweet news to bear.
I think I'm feeling very relieved, but on the very same hand, sorry for my brother. I don't think Ian entirely realizes that his actions are proving to make his life the poorer. I wish it had never come down to this, although very thankful for the opportunity to have Justus here. My prayer from the beginning would be that they would try to make their lives all the better, and get Justus back. Unfortunately, at this point, they are not even willing to try :( God is good though, and we feel blessed to have Justus a part of the household.
What a treasure he is. :) His smile brightens up my day for sure. I love hearing "uhoh" or yesterday was "ok" I think it's amazing to watch the differences his development from Logan and Abby. That, in itself, is a miracle. Considering all that he was exposed to in utero, there he is, a champion fighter. Makes me proud to be a mom. Steve and I often say how amazing it is, the love that we have for Justus. We heard often through our adoption classes how that bond forms, but until you experience it, you never truly understand. We hope one day that he will bear our name, but for now, knowing that we are his legal guardians is enough.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Spring Cleaning?
With the weather as warm as it has been, I have this sudden urge to purge! I went through my clothes last night, 2 bags of clothing GONE. The kids clothes are today once Steve gets home from church. I don't think Steve will ever be ready to purge his clothing though, that always gets done behind his back! LOL
In my cleaning journey though what I really want to know is: how can one family accumulate so much PAPER!!! It seems the way our life is, both with therapy and school, my desks suddenly look like paper factories. There is always some note that comes home, or some document needed for therapy stuff. There are numerous reports, and updates. There are the kids crafts and phonics sheets. There are the regular bills too...even found some that I've been missing! I think I need someone to come over and help declutter my desk (or life?). Or better yet, someone out there needs to come up with a more proficient way of communicating. In this day and age, surely there is a better way than paper, couldn't we email?? No I suppose not, but in the mean time...what do I do with all this paper, and who has time to file it anyway? Ugh...
My mother recently gave me an ID holder and I often think of it. It reads "Dull women have immaculate houses". I've also read articles in magazines that kids need to be exposed to some germs in order to build up their immune systems. I often cling to information like this when I look around my house and think "geez, my house is a mess" but what I really should be thinking is: "I'm helping my children build their immune systems". There are definitely times that I wish I was able to keep a neater/cleaner house. Like that 5 min crunch before company comes over where all the clutter gets moved to somewhere else, dirty pots/pans get shoved into the ovens, rolltop desks get closed (boy I love that invention). I'd never be prepared if someone just showed up at my house for an impromtuu visit. My house often looks like a war zone. I wish I had that plaque that reads "my house isn't messy, it's just lived in".
I don't know if cleaning is just something I'm not good at, or if this is just a natural byproduct of having two children with special needs and a baby in the house. I've never been great at keeping a clean house, just ask my mom what my room looked like when I lived at home. But why do I feel pressure to keep the house immaculate? I feel like I have failed in some way, but I don't know to what degree, nor who I've failed. Maybe just myself...I don't know.
There are my thoughts...I have no idea why I felt the need to share them...but take it for whatever it's worth.
In my cleaning journey though what I really want to know is: how can one family accumulate so much PAPER!!! It seems the way our life is, both with therapy and school, my desks suddenly look like paper factories. There is always some note that comes home, or some document needed for therapy stuff. There are numerous reports, and updates. There are the kids crafts and phonics sheets. There are the regular bills too...even found some that I've been missing! I think I need someone to come over and help declutter my desk (or life?). Or better yet, someone out there needs to come up with a more proficient way of communicating. In this day and age, surely there is a better way than paper, couldn't we email?? No I suppose not, but in the mean time...what do I do with all this paper, and who has time to file it anyway? Ugh...
My mother recently gave me an ID holder and I often think of it. It reads "Dull women have immaculate houses". I've also read articles in magazines that kids need to be exposed to some germs in order to build up their immune systems. I often cling to information like this when I look around my house and think "geez, my house is a mess" but what I really should be thinking is: "I'm helping my children build their immune systems". There are definitely times that I wish I was able to keep a neater/cleaner house. Like that 5 min crunch before company comes over where all the clutter gets moved to somewhere else, dirty pots/pans get shoved into the ovens, rolltop desks get closed (boy I love that invention). I'd never be prepared if someone just showed up at my house for an impromtuu visit. My house often looks like a war zone. I wish I had that plaque that reads "my house isn't messy, it's just lived in".
I don't know if cleaning is just something I'm not good at, or if this is just a natural byproduct of having two children with special needs and a baby in the house. I've never been great at keeping a clean house, just ask my mom what my room looked like when I lived at home. But why do I feel pressure to keep the house immaculate? I feel like I have failed in some way, but I don't know to what degree, nor who I've failed. Maybe just myself...I don't know.
There are my thoughts...I have no idea why I felt the need to share them...but take it for whatever it's worth.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Justus
I just wanted to share this picture. I think it's one of my favourites of Justus. I love the way his hair is all static. Too cute.
I also wanted to share that he is CRUISING along the furniture now. What a big boy. Last night was really cute as both Justus and Logan were in the front window looking at their reflections. I wanted a picture from outside, but knew it wouldn't turn out anyway. Justus has the Peschell height and I know he wouldn't be visible! He's so short!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
humph
I came home yesterday for an appt with the neurologist, and boy was that ever a waste of time. The guy was not a nice man, and really blew me off. Basically told me it was all in my head. He sees numb people everyday of his life. Acted like I was wasting his time just by being there. Told me the MRI was pointless, and that all MRI's show abnormalities. I'm very thankful the GP requested the MRI, and I hope for a clear one, but if not then I will be requesting to see another doctor and NOT this guy.
I realize there are people out there who exaggerate their symptoms and go looking for attention, but with the busyness of my life, this is the last thing that I need/want. I know there is something wrong with me though, and I need to see a doctor that at least respects that fact. I'm just so disappointed right now, but like a friend of mine said "at least you didn't have to wait 4 months to get that" which she is right, I am thankful for that.
I realize there are people out there who exaggerate their symptoms and go looking for attention, but with the busyness of my life, this is the last thing that I need/want. I know there is something wrong with me though, and I need to see a doctor that at least respects that fact. I'm just so disappointed right now, but like a friend of mine said "at least you didn't have to wait 4 months to get that" which she is right, I am thankful for that.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Going Home
As it turns out, I am getting to go home early. But it's not because I'm homesick. The specialist called today and they had a cancellation SOOO I get to go to see him tomorrow :) This brings on so many mixed emotions, but mostly I am so thankful that I get to see him NOW and not in April. What marvelous things God does. :) I hope to get some answers, but I probably won't. Just more tests I'm assuming. Please pray for us tomorrow at 2:30 and I guess all day while we travel. I will update if I find anything out.
Home Sick
So, it's only Tuesday and I'm homesick already :( I used to be able to leave the family without batting an eyelash, but with it being the holidays, I think it's hitting me that much harder :( I miss Logan and Abby, and I miss Steve. I miss my house, my bed. I miss our peaceful chaotic house. I am just very thankful to have Justus here, at least there is someone to snuggle and love on. I just wish that he wasn't so cranky and I wasn't so tired. I think he misses everyone too.
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