Today I realized that I'm not cut out for 'going it alone' with the kids. I am extremely tired. Out of 6 sleeps, I've had 2 good nights...let me tell you, this mommy needed 6 good nights!!! The night before last Abby decided that it was wise of her to wake at 1 AM for the day. I couldn't believe it...She was SO wired. All day I walked around in a fog. There is a reason that Steve wakes up with the kids in the night, I don't handle it well. period. This woman is designed to go to bed at 10 and wake up no earlier than 6! I haven't had that luxury once this week...I'm looking forward to it on Sunday, I'll tell you that much!
As I headed for bed last night, I got another call from Steve (which I DON'T mind at all, miss him like crazy). After that, I passed out, maybe a bit of falling asleep while on the phone, I'm sure I made no sense by the end of the conversation. A person is not supposed to be awake from 1 am - 10 pm! He's having a great time. It's been good for him, and I can tell a difference in him. This is the first time that he's done something like this for himself, and I'm so proud of him for it.
At 1:00, yes you heard me, 1:00 Miss Emma decided to wake up. I went down and turned her over thinking that was all she needed....she quieted down for a bit and then started crying again, so at 1:30 I made her a bottle which of course magically made her fall asleep before drinking it...she did afterall get mommy out of bed twice! There sits the bottle beside my bed, 'just in case'!
At 4:40 Abby decided she was to get up. I think she's really hating seeing my face in the morning. Everyday more and more crying occurs...it'll be nice to tell her tomorrow that Daddy will be home in the afternoon! I'm sure she's ready! I know I am. I'm sure I'll get a call from the school asking me to come and get her at some point today. But lets hope she manages to control herself for school.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers this week. I couldn't have done it without them. As it is, I'm hanging on by my fingernails, but it's just one more sleep til Steve gets home! I just can't wait!!!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Single Parenting
This week I have been alone with all 4 kids. Steve left on Saturday (thankfully the day AFTER Abby had cotton removed from her nose) for a week in Vancouver for Arrow Leadership. I really need to thank and applaud all single parents out there, because it's tough!! Wow.
Saturday night started off alright, I knew it wouldn't be great because I don't do well being 'alone' (ie the only adult in the house). So it took me awhile to settle down for the night, the last time I saw on the clock was 12:45. Then at 3:30 I woke up! I dozed off and on until 5:50 when Abby woke up. As each of the kids all got up, I realized that Justus and Emma really weren't themselves...oh goodness...sickness too?! My parents came for a visit, and Jocelyn was here in the morning, so the day didn't go too badly.
Sunday night...hopefully never to happen again! Justus had woken up crying 2x since bedtime at 7:30 so I went down and brought him upstairs to sleep in my room around 10. I went to bed at 10:30. I was tired...I had just got to the point where I was in and out of dreams when the phone rang. Thankful to talk to Steve, we chatted. Around 11:30 I settle back down, and by 12 I was asleep. At 1 AM I hear squeals of delight coming from the living room...it was Abby totally wired for sound! I told her she had 1 hour and that at 2 AM she was headed back to bed...suprisingly that worked. I settled down and into sleep when at 3 AM Emma wakes for a bottle....you've got to be kidding me! Just as I was putting Emma back down, Justus starts to cry....I'm thinking to myself, will this night EVER end!?! Well, he quickly settled and I was asleep by 4:30...only to be woken for the day just and hour and a half later at 6 AM...
Monday added insult to injury, the kids were home due to a PD day AND especially Emma had to see the doctor. Her chest was SO full and congested...so I call the office and her appt is scheduled for 4:30...now to find sitters...thankfully Jean came in the morning so I could head to the pharmacy. Sandy came later at 4:00, and then Jocelyn at 4:30...I'm so thankful for a good network of people! I headed out for some ME time once I knew the kids were ok. Went for a nice supper at Kelsey's then home to bed.
Last night went really well. Slept straight from 10-5, no interruptions...my only trouble is, today the tiredness hit me from two previous restless nights so now I feel like garbage. Abby is also starting to miss daddy, so she's really acting out. Justus is still quite cranky and Emma is still sick too....so overall, I'm ready for tomorrow to come!
And here's a little letter to my Hubby,
Dear Steve,
I'm sorry for all the times I make you get up. You're a trooper and never complain. You're awesome! I love you very much!
Love,
Amanda
Saturday night started off alright, I knew it wouldn't be great because I don't do well being 'alone' (ie the only adult in the house). So it took me awhile to settle down for the night, the last time I saw on the clock was 12:45. Then at 3:30 I woke up! I dozed off and on until 5:50 when Abby woke up. As each of the kids all got up, I realized that Justus and Emma really weren't themselves...oh goodness...sickness too?! My parents came for a visit, and Jocelyn was here in the morning, so the day didn't go too badly.
Sunday night...hopefully never to happen again! Justus had woken up crying 2x since bedtime at 7:30 so I went down and brought him upstairs to sleep in my room around 10. I went to bed at 10:30. I was tired...I had just got to the point where I was in and out of dreams when the phone rang. Thankful to talk to Steve, we chatted. Around 11:30 I settle back down, and by 12 I was asleep. At 1 AM I hear squeals of delight coming from the living room...it was Abby totally wired for sound! I told her she had 1 hour and that at 2 AM she was headed back to bed...suprisingly that worked. I settled down and into sleep when at 3 AM Emma wakes for a bottle....you've got to be kidding me! Just as I was putting Emma back down, Justus starts to cry....I'm thinking to myself, will this night EVER end!?! Well, he quickly settled and I was asleep by 4:30...only to be woken for the day just and hour and a half later at 6 AM...
Monday added insult to injury, the kids were home due to a PD day AND especially Emma had to see the doctor. Her chest was SO full and congested...so I call the office and her appt is scheduled for 4:30...now to find sitters...thankfully Jean came in the morning so I could head to the pharmacy. Sandy came later at 4:00, and then Jocelyn at 4:30...I'm so thankful for a good network of people! I headed out for some ME time once I knew the kids were ok. Went for a nice supper at Kelsey's then home to bed.
Last night went really well. Slept straight from 10-5, no interruptions...my only trouble is, today the tiredness hit me from two previous restless nights so now I feel like garbage. Abby is also starting to miss daddy, so she's really acting out. Justus is still quite cranky and Emma is still sick too....so overall, I'm ready for tomorrow to come!
And here's a little letter to my Hubby,
Dear Steve,
I'm sorry for all the times I make you get up. You're a trooper and never complain. You're awesome! I love you very much!
Love,
Amanda
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Happy Birthday Abby!
My daughter Abby turns 5 today! Seems like just yesterday we were heading to the hospital to be induced. We were SO excited. Abby had already lived through such amazing things, we knew God had something special for her. During a routine ultrasound, they found cysts on her brain, we had no idea how this might affect her. It didn't. Then when I was 7.5 months pregnant with her, I was in a bad car accident, rolled the car three times...it was bad. Yet there she was on the monitor, doing just fine. God has had His hand on her. He knew her before "she was knit together in my womb" and has been looking out for her since. Her heartbeat dropped really low during delivery too. She turned out fine!
I'm so proud of her. I love to listen to her laugh hysterically, that throaty laugh...it's so contagious. She enjoys so much of life. Everyone who meets her, loves her. She may have autism, but she touches people. She is so genuine, so pure. I love her for that.
I hope that she has a wonderful day, and that she enjoys it for all it's worth!
"Happy Birthday Big Girl!!!"
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Some days and some times in your life are easier than others. I believe and am convinced of that now. I know that when I come out on the other side of this time in my life, I will be a better person, I will also inherit the patience of Job. This past week has passed by as decades, each day representing one in itself. I am praying that Friday comes quickly and the answers I need are before me, or at the very least, be turned in the right direction. I HATE the unknown. It's the worst part of any illness/disease.
I thank God for my family and friends, and for those who have carried me through in prayer. My life wouldn't be the same without your support. The way is becoming brighter, I do see faint lights. I will update when the time is right. Thank you for checking in on me.
I thank God for my family and friends, and for those who have carried me through in prayer. My life wouldn't be the same without your support. The way is becoming brighter, I do see faint lights. I will update when the time is right. Thank you for checking in on me.
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