Amazing

Six years ago today I was giving birth to my son Logan. My beautiful blond hair, blue eyed boy. It feels like it was just yesterday that I woke Steve up, just an hour after finishing his thesis, saying "honey, I'm in labour". Now, what followed next wasn't what I expected, the whole day passed by in such a blurr...I asked for something for pain as I had intense back labour, I got something shot into my leg. A little while later, when clearly that wasn't enough, the epidural was given. I was so high for the rest of the day. I don't remember much, but what I do remember was comical...Steve almost passing out and the nurses handing me the call button if HE needed anything, Steve so unwisely telling me to breathe properly (he got THE LOOK), the nurse accidently poking me with a needle ("it's ok, I didn't feel a thing", that was the beginning of the high).
When it came time to actually have Logan. It didn't go well. His head was so big, he was almost stuck. Out came the vaccum, that didn't work. Out came the forceps, they did. But poor Logan looked SOOO beat up. Cuts and black eye. But you know, from that first moment, I never saw the flaws, just how beautiful he was. He'd captured me right from his first look.
Over the years, we've had our ups and downs. The first year, I lived in the glorious moments of mommyhood. We laughed and played, read books together and napped together. As he grew older I knew something was different. He never ever called me momma, and was getting very rigid in his play. I always brought it down to my accident and the birth of Abby being so difficult for him.
What transpired over the next few months, was something I could never forget. He's deaf, it was our first thought. Hearing test showed that he's got 100% hearing, no problems whatsoever. Our doctor then sent us to another doctor, to rule out Autism, only to find that it wasn't ruled out, it was diagnosed. I went into full blown mommy panic. But I've learned over the years that there wasn't anything to panic over.
Logan today is a wonderful boy who loves his family. He loves to play outside, and laugh. He's changed my view on so much in life, I've learned to celebrate the smallest of accomplishments. I've learned that life doesn't always give you what you want, it gives you what you need. Without Logan (or my other kids) I would never be the person or mother that I am today. He has opened my mind to accept so much more in people, to be more understanding of those who don't meet "status quo". I no longer judge my accomplishments by societys standards, but accept every accomplishment for what it is. Some may say that Autism is something that needs to be cured, but I must admit, in my heart I know that I have learned so much from my little boy and little girl with autism then I ever could've learned from anyone else. For me, in some strange way, Autism has been a blessing to me.
I am thankful for Logan, and I love him dearly. Happy Birthday big boy, Mommy loves you :D