My Awesome Hubby!

We just got word today that the book that Steve co-authored with Stan Porter "Unmasking the Pagan Christ" won an award at the Word Guild Awards (Awards for Christian Canadian Authors). It is an Award of Merit, the category being Apologetics/Evangelism. I'm so incredibly proud of him.

Way to go Steve!!!! I'm so proud of you! I know the journey was rough at times, and I wasn't always the supportive wife I should've been. Let me tell you now, in front of all my blog readers (how few or many there are), how very proud I am of you, and how much I love you!

Emma

OK, I love the girl to pieces, but I'm thinking she has colic or is lactose intolerant or something. This girl had been crying hours on end for DAYS!!!! But today we switched to a soy-based formula and knock on wood, she seems much better! A lot less crying than the last few days. It's so hard to believe she's been in our lives a month already. She's doing so well though. We wish we (or should I say STEVE does) sleep more but her presence here makes up for the lack of sleep. She balances out the family. I love her feminine features. I love that she LOOKS like a girl. Such slender delicate hands and feet. Babies can make me gush for hours so I better stop there.

She is eating and growing well. She was born 5 lbs 5 oz. and at our last appt she was 6 lbs 15 oz. Which is still less than any of my kids were, but still growing steadily. She's not great at night, but she's getting better. She still wakes at least 2x in the night, but the time is increasing slowly. She's becoming much more alert during the day, and starting to smile at us. She has great eye contact when she's having her bottle. All great signs for what's to come!

This girl is a blessing for sure. I am so thankful for her, and for all that she brings to this family unit.

Justus

What an adventure ride~this kid amazes us at every turn! The boy is a walking, talking machine. Every time I look at him, I'm so thankful that he is in my life, that we've been given the opportunity to raise him as our own.

As I said, he's growing in leaps and bounds, just not any taller! He's saying so much now, I think he might even be a bit advanced. He's got such great communication skills. He shows us at every turn the little things we've missed. He'll be into big mischief in no time!!!

We have to do some physiotherapy with him, the help correct some weakness in his right side. It is making him side-shuffle and turn his foot out. Hopefully with some exercises, we'll be able to get that corrected. Every little bit helps, and that is a good thing because he doesn't like doing the exercises. Typical male, does what he wants WHEN he wants!!!

Abby

Abby has had the flu today :( Poor girl. She missed her school year end classtrip. But I must admit I enjoyed our time today. She was so cute dozing in and out most of the day, but she was very pleasant to be around nonetheless. This isn't always the case.

Abby has also had a year of triumphs. I have enjoyed hearing her progress at school, as well as hearing how the other kids in her class all want to be her partner etc. I love Abby to pieces and so it does my heart good to hear that her peers are feeling the same way about her. While Abby's behaviours can be challenging at times, I will say that her love of life outweighs that at every turn. She continues to make good progress in school and therapy. I am so amazed at her.

Her eyes hold the secrets of the universe, so deep and pensive. I'd love to pick her brain and know what she's thinking or feeling. She's got such a beautiful soul. I love her to bits. She is so passionate and fierce. One amazing little fireball.

Logan Update

Logan is just finishing up at school, his SK year. What a year it has been! I can't believe how far he has come.

A few nights ago, Justus got a hold of the remote for the TV and hit the mute button. It was in that moment that something so perfect happened, something completely unplanned. We realized just how much Logan can memorize! We knew it was a good skill he had, but it's truly remarkable. He spoke the ENTIRE movie!!! All the parts, all the songs, everything. Steve and I sat dumbfounded on the couch, not saying a word to each other. It was a precious memory that will forever be burned in my thoughts.

Logan's school year has gone fabulously. We feel so blessed to be able to have the kids in school. All this year, whenever we see Logan's schoolmates out and about town, they alway seem so excited to see him. There is one little girl who invited Logan to her birthday party, and from talking to her and her mom, really enjoys playing with Logan at school! What a blessing. We were so afraid that he would be picked on for being "different" but in all reality, this year, he was a friend. The kids are all excited that Logan is beginning to talk. Some report back to their parents about it. It's just such a wonderful experience.

Me, in a nutshell, or a coconut LOL

I am clinging to cliche's like I never thought possible. I'm not a big believer in cliches, but for now, I'm clinging to anything I can get my mouth around: "this too shall pass", "what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger", "God doesn't give you more than you can handle", "you got yourself into this.." (oh wait, that wasn't very positive, nix it). You've all heard them. My knee-jerk reactions to cliche's are often, "What, you couldn't think of anything more reassuring than that?" However, I'm beginning to learn that there is some truth in them, they must be a cliche for a reason right?

Having 4 kids has made me grow (very radically I might add) into a different person. Mostly good, although some unfortunate few have caught the wrath of my unchecked patience (something I'm not very proud of). I've learned that I really must purge some of my unused belongings...the truth of the matter is, we just have too much stuff. I've also learned that although Steve would beg to differ, he has WAY more clothing than me. I've surmised that chaotic messes lead to chaotic mindsets. I've learned that I need to lean more on God's grace for the patience that I need, NOT for my kids but for everyone else around me. Life lessons can only be learned while living your life.

It's sometimes hard to remember that I'm only 27. Life has a way of flying around me and making me feel old. I've done a lot of living in these 27 years. There are things that I'm proud of, things I'm ashamed of but truth be told, I wouldn't change it for anything. The lessons and experiences I have under my belt, have led me to the place I am today. The hurt and heartache has given way to a beautiful life. I'm surely not perfect, not by any means (my family says a loud amen to that), but I know that God's working on me. We all see the children's t-shirts out there that read "please be patient, God's not finished with me yet". But I believe that every adult should have one of those t-shirts too! When I get to the place where I feel "finished" I know I'm in the wrong spot. I never want to stop learning and growing as a woman, mother, and wife. If I stop learning, what more will I have to offer?

It's very much been an adjustment, life with 4 kids, and trust me, I know I'm not anywhere near fully adjusted! But truth be told, I'm loving the ride.


(I'm going to post separate blogs about each of the kids since it's been so long)

UGH...What next?!

For those of you who have been following the saga that has been my health lately, you know that it's been in a constant state of peeks and valleys.

Late this morning I went for an abdominal ultrasound, and this afternoon my doc's office called and let me know that I have gallstones! No wonder I've been in so much pain. I'm relieved to have found an answer, but not so relieved at the prospect of surgery. I know I'll be fine though. Dr. Lozan did Steve's cyst removal, so I know he'll do a great job for me.

I also found out that I'll be going for another MRI in August, this time on both my brain and spine. I certainly hope to have some answers, but at this point I'm not sure I'm actually going to get them. Continued prayers would be appreciated. It's hard to maintain some level of hope, when you're facing a big uncertainty in your life.

I am striving towards trusting God to lead me in His way. Sometimes I ask why He chooses to trust me so much, but I also know it doesn't work that way. I just have to believe that He's going to give me whatever I need to get through this troubling time. He's always been there for me. No matter how distant I might feel at the time, He's always come through. I have to believe, if for nothing else than for my own mental health, that He'll come through again this time.